


Cross-Country Road Trip Extravaganza!

by lllee



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Insulting deep-dish pizza, Mountains Deserts and Plains Oh My, Road Trips, West Coast, You know when you're in the car with your siblings and they play trashy music? That but worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 23:58:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lllee/pseuds/lllee
Summary: Connie Maheswaran joins Steven Universe, his dad, and the Crystal Gems in a journey across many of the 50 states in an effort to see the West Coast. Various escapades ensue.





	Cross-Country Road Trip Extravaganza!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cinip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinip/gifts).



> Here's a slightly early Christmas gift to Cinip! Thanks for being an amazing friend! I really hope you like this fic (and I hope everyone else reading likes it, too.)

Steven Universe jumped out of the car and raced up to his best friend Connie Maheswaran’s front door. He rang the doorbell at a rate of ten rings per second.

“Steven, stop that! My parents will get mad!” Connie shouted through the door.

“Sorry. I’m just so excited about our road trip!”

“That’s okay. I’m excited too! It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with you.”

Mr. Maheswaran appeared, carrying two large bags. “Hi, Steven! How are you?”

“I’m good. I can’t wait to go see everything! The mountains, the desert, the plains, and the Tranquil Ocean!”

“I’m a little jealous. Sounds like you guys will have an amazing time.” He carried the bags to the back of Mr. Universe’s van and dropped them inside.

“Just try not to get into too much trouble,” said Dr. Maheswaran, stepping through the front door.

“I won’t!” Connie replied.

“Have a safe trip!” exclaimed Dr. and Mr. Maheswaran as Connie and Steven entered the van.

“Hi, Connie! You ready to go see the Tranquil Ocean?” asked Mr. Universe from the front seat.

“I sure am!” Connie replied.

“Connie!” shouted three distinct voices. Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet popped out from behind the backseat. “It’s been so long!”

“I know! I’ve missed you guys.” Connie and the gems leaned over the seat and formed a big group hug. This trip was going to be awesome. 

Or so she thought. It didn’t take long for the trip to deteriorate into chaos. After Mr. Universe let one of his CDs play through, it was Pearl’s turn to pick the music.

“Pearl, this is the most boring song I’ve ever heard. Can we change it already?” Amethyst complained.

“Nonsense. Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto in E Minor is a classic!”

“If the song title alone takes over three seconds to say, it can’t be very interesting.”

“Would you say that about Fall Out Boy?”

“Fall Out Boy is different! They make good music!”

“But they break your song title rule. You just contradicted yourself.”

“Whatever.”

Garnet spoke, attempting to break up the fight. “How about this. Pearl, you get to finish this song, and then Amethyst gets a song. Deal?”

“Deal,” said Amethyst. “Hey Pearl, how long is this song anyway?”

“Twenty-seven minutes and twenty-three seconds.”

Amethyst’s reply had to be censored since this fic is for general audiences.

Connie actually liked the song Pearl put on, since she had learned it herself. Aside from Amethyst’s occasional groans and grumbles, Connie had a lovely time gazing out the window and chatting with Steven about their favorite TV shows. 

After the last notes of the concerto rang out, Amethyst grabbed the aux cord and yanked it out of Pearl’s phone. “My turn,” she said with an evil glint in her eye.

A little boy’s voice spoke through the speakers as a beat resonated in the background. “I like to sing… dance… pretend…”

“Amethyst, what is this?” Steven asked.

“You’ll see,” said Amethyst as the beat dropped.

An earsplitting trap bass thundered as a strange wail sounded. The little boy voice repeated the word “fun” so many times it no longer sounded like a word. Mr. Universe screamed and swerved the car. Connie and Steven clung to each other.

The thunder calmed down. “Amethyst, I know you didn’t like my song, but isn’t this a little extre-”

“KaaaaaaaazzzzZOOOOOOOO!”

If the earlier music was bad, it was nothing compared to the current monstrosity. The bass thundered louder, the wailing screeched at a higher pitch, and the cacophony was randomly punctuated with strange noises from the little boy. Mr. Universe had to pull over. Steven was nearly in tears. Connie leaned over and gave him a comforting pat on his shoulder. Pearl curled up into a ball, and even Garnet looked slightly less composed than usual. Only Amethyst seemed to be having a good time. She moved her entire body to the music, banging her head and waving her arms.

The song finally ended, actually much quicker than Connie was expecting. She sighed in relief.

“Alright, I think it’s Garnet’s turn now,” said Pearl. “Garnet, please play something to make us forget about this.”

“I like to sing… dance… pretend…” 

“Amethyst, you only get one song!” said Steven.

“I know. I’m only doing one song,” Amethyst replied, tilting her phone towards him. Connie glanced over and read “Kazoo Kid Trap Remix: 10 Hour Version.”

“Amethyyyyyyyyst!!!!”

After much debate, Amethyst conceded the aux cord to Garnet. The music argument fizzled out after that. Connie was content to watch the scenery outside, noticing with delight that the land outside seemed to be getting hillier.

“Are we almost to the mountains?” she asked.

“To the East Mountains, yes,” said Mr. Universe. “These ones are pretty good, but wait until we get to the West Mountains. Those ones are huge!”

As the van drove further into the mountains, the road wound tight circles around the land and cut through towering walls of lush trees. Connie and Steven pressed their faces against the window glass and stared at the beautiful forest.

Mr. Universe spotted their reactions. “Since you guys are enjoying this so much, why don’t we spend the night here? It’s getting kinda late anyway.”

“Oh, yes. That sounds like a wonderful idea,” said Pearl.

After seeing a sign for a small motel nearby, Mr. Universe pulled over the car and reserved a room. Amethyst and Garnet looked through the travel guides for activities to do.

“They have fishing,” suggested Garnet.

“Boring,” said Amethyst.

“Hiking?”

“Lame.”

“rafting?”

“Maybe…” Amethyst leaned closer. “Skydiving?”

“Absolutely not.”

“rafting sounds fun!” said Steven. 

“Great. Let’s do it.”

Garnet got directions to a nearby campground from the motel clerk, and the group piled back into the car. It only took about 10 minutes before they arrived at a weathered log cabin. They rented the rafts, then piled into a rusted pickup truck to be dropped off at a location upstream. The route would take them back to the calm part of the river afterwards.

Connie had never rafted before, but she was excited to try. Based on what the guide was showing them, it didn’t look too hard. She copied the strokes in the air while the guide started helping Mr. Universe into the first raft. Soon it was her turn to go in.

“Have a nice trip!” the guide said, smiling. “Remember, if there’s an emergency or if something goes wrong, just call me on this radio, and I’ll come immediately with help.”

Connie nodded. “I will. Thanks!” She pushed off the side and floated to the center of the river.

Connie and Steven were in the middle of the group. Mr. Universe and Garnet were in the front, and Pearl and Amethyst were in the back. The river was relatively narrow, but its curves were gentle and easy to navigate. As they glided through the water, they watched tiny woodland creatures scurrying along the shore. A light breeze blew across the river, ruffling their hair.

As Steven and Connie were drifting, they had started coming up with interesting food combinations to try. “Imagine this: a peanut butter and bacon sandwich,” Steven suggested. 

“Yuck. That sounds gross. What about peanut butter and blueberries?”

“That’s boring. Everyone pairs peanut butter and fruit.”

“That’s because it tastes good. If people don’t eat certain foods together, there’s probably a reason for that.”

“Maybe they’re just not being adventurous enough. You never know if something’s good until you try it!”

Connie was about to suggest that they agree to disagree when she heard a shout. Looking ahead, she couldn’t spot Mr. Universe or Garnet. The river itself seemed to disappear.

“WATERFALL!” They heard Mr. Universe shout, louder this time.

“Waterfall?!” shouted Pearl from behind them. “No one said anything about a waterfall!”

“We gotta help them!” said Steven, paddling his raft harder.

“Steven, wait!” said Pearl, but it was too late. Steven fell over the edge.

Connie held her breath. Her canoe was nearing the edge, and she couldn’t see much ahead of her. Was this it? Was this the end to her very short life? Surely Steven or one of the Crystal Gems could save her, right? Or she could save herself. Gripping the paddle tightly, she steered towards the right bank. But despite her efforts, the raft wouldn’t move fast enough.

“It’s ok, guys. The waterfall is short!” Steven called.

Connie sighed in relief. “Thank goodness!” She stopped her frantic paddling. As she got closer, she could see the edge of the waterfall, which only dropped a couple feet. She also saw Steven up ahead. Reaching the edge of the waterfall, her raft lightly coasted over the edge and moved her down.

“Yeah. The only real problem I can see is those rapids,” said Mr. Universe from the front, pointing at the rocky whitewater up ahead.

“Rapids?!” said everyone.

Before long, all six of their rafts shot forward, flying and tumbling through the winding current. Water sprayed into their faces. Connie’s raft jostled her back and forth, and her stomach felt queasy. 

“I can’t believe they didn’t tell us there would be  _ rapids _ on this river!” Pearl exclaimed.

“Wooooo! This is awesome!” said Amethyst, raising her arms as if she were on a roller coaster.

“Did you see this coming?” Steven shouted to Garnet.

“It was definitely a possibility!” Garnet shouted back.

“Then why didn’t you tell us about it?”

“Because this is really fun!”

Connie found that despite the terror, this was pretty fun. It certainly got her adrenaline pumping. The raft felt weightless as it zipped and swerved through the rock formations. Everything would be great, as long as the raft stayed upright…

Thunk! Connie’s raft crashed into Steven’s, which had crashed into Mr. Universe’s and Garnet’s rafts. She felt another thunk as Pearl and Amethyst crashed into her. All six of them went flying. So much for that hope.

The rescuers came after about fifteen minutes. Thankfully, the radios were waterproof, so it was no trouble to call. After radioing for help, thr group swam over to the river bank and crawled onto the shore, shivering in their freezing clothes.

The guide they met earlier was horrified when she found out about the group’s inexperience with rafting. “You guys seemed so confident and familiar with the equipment, I thought for sure you had rafted before! I would have gone with you and given you a rapids safety course otherwise.”

“In the future, you should probably ask people first,” Pearl scolded her.

“You’re right. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Garnet replied, smiling reassuringly. “At least no one was hurt.”

The group went back to the motel and took off their sopping wet clothes. Connie never knew that clean, dry cotton could feel so good. After a delicious meal of barbecued hot dogs, the group listened to Mr. Universe’s campfire songs until it was time to go to bed.

The next day, the gang piled back into the van and set forth for the Great Plains. They would have a while to go before they got that far, however. Most of the day consisted of Steven and Connie playing license plate games while Pearl and Amethyst covertly fought to control the music. The surrounding land slowly flattened.

Eventually, the sun set. But though the night was dark, the highway soon became bright.

“We’re nearing Windy City,” Mr. Universe explained. “It’s got the tallest buildings in the country.”

Connie and Steven had never been to Windy City, so they decided to spend the night there. Mr. Universe found a reasonably priced hotel on the west side of the city, then drove the group into downtown.

“Do you guys know what Windy City is most famous for?” asked Mr. Universe.

“Corrupt politicians?” Pearl replied.

“No, besides that.”

“Pizza!” said Garnet, spoiling the answer for everyone.

“Yeah. Apparently they have their own special kind of pizza.”

“Let’s try it!” Steven said as his stomach grumbled. Connie rolled her eyes. All Steven could think about was food.

When they got to the pizza restaurant, however, they were shocked to discover exactly why Windy City pizza was so well-known.

“This thing is so thick! Who wants to eat pizza that’s thicker than their own hand?” complained Amethyst.

“It’s so heavy,” said Steven, struggling to hold up a slice.

“And gooey,” said Pearl, grimacing at the strings of cheese that hung down.

“And greasy,” said Connie, eyeing the oil that dripped onto her plate.

“I like it,” said Garnet, swallowing a slice whole. Everyone else’s eyes bugged out of their heads.

After paying for the very expensive pie, the group decided that they would never try Windy City food again. They left the restaurant and explored the city.

“Look! It says there’s a giant statue of a bean nearby,” said Steven, pointing to a sign.

“A bean? Why would they have a statue of a bean?” asked Pearl.

“Because beans are awesome,” said Amethyst. “Now where is this thing?”

The group found the giant bean, which was covered in a shiny, reflective surface. Steven and Connie did silly poses and took pictures. The curves of the bean distorted their faces in ways that made them giggle. The Crystal Gems and Mr. Universe joined in, each vying to create the most ridiculous face. The lights from nearby buildings shone off the surface, giving the their expressions a bright glow.

The group enjoyed their time in the city, but the rest of their trip was going to be mostly natural areas, which Connie looked forward to seeing. The next morning, after eating some prepackaged snacks (because they didn’t trust the local food), they hopped in the car. It didn’t take long for the towering buildings to recede far in the distance.

“This is where the real fun of a road trip comes in,” Mr. Universe said. “There are all sorts of fun roadside attractions we can find.”

Connie didn’t doubt him, but wondered what could be interesting in the surrounding environment of cornfields and cows. They went several hours without seeing even the slightest change in the scenery. All of a sudden, Mr. Universe pulled over.

“What is it? Why did we stop?”

“Look at that!” said Mr. Universe, pointing to a large metal structure.

“What is it?” asked Connie, squinting.

Steven stepped closer. “It says it’s the world’s largest coat hanger!”

“Really? Why would they have that?” 

“They want tourists to stop and spend their money,” Garnet explained.

“It’s pretty cool actually,” Amethyst said. She shapeshifted until she became huge. “Look, it’s a hanger for someone my size!”

Connie and Steven giggled.

Though the Great Plains were still boring most of the time, every so often they found another interesting attraction: the world’s biggest rubber duck, pincushion, tweezers, and soda bottle. However, the most exciting was when they found the world’s largest pair of pants.

“I’m gonna put them on,” said Amethyst, growing large again.

“Amethyst, no!” said Pearl.

“But it’s the world’s largest pair of pants! Who wouldn’t want to wear those?”

“Amethyst, do you have to do this?” asked Garnet.

“Of course!” To the horror of all the tourists, Amethyst grabbed the giant pants and pulled them up over her legs.

“What is that thing?” a random man screamed.

“I’m calling the police!” a woman shouted.

“Amethyst, stop that immediately!” Pearl demanded.

Amethyst finished pulling on the pair of pants, but soon realized a problem. “Ew! There’s metal in these!”

“How else did you think they were free standing?” asked Garnet.

“These are the most uncomfortable pants in the history of the universe!” Amethyst shrank back down and emerged from the fabric a minute later.

A siren wailed. Before long, two police cars appeared on the side of the road. An officer stepped out from each car: a tall woman and a short man. Connie’s heart pounded rapidly in her chest. She felt a thin layer of sweat bead on her skin. Glancing at Steven, she saw his face was whiter than a blizzard. Pearl was shaking. Only Amethyst didn’t seem to have a care in the world, but Connie suspected that would soon change.

“What’s going on here?” the woman officer asked.

“There was a large purple monster terrorizing the world’s largest pair of pants!” said a tourist.

“A large purple monster?” The officer asked, looking doubtful.

“It’s true! I saw it!” said another man.

The male officer scoffed. “Yeah right. That’s a blatant lie if I ever heard one. Points for creativity, though.”

The female officer glared at the tourists. “Next time, only call if there’s a real emergency. This is your last warning.”

The officers hopped back into their cars and drove off.

“That’s it! No more roadside attractions,” said Pearl, grimacing at Amethyst, who was playing with a piece of chewing gum.

“Aw, I want to see more!” said Steven.

“Actually, it’s not too far until we reach the edge of the plains. We’re almost to the Western Mountains!” said Mr. Universe.

“The mountains?!” Connie and Steven grinned at each other.

They drove for another couple hours, but it started to get dark, so they stopped in a town in the plains. The next morning, it didn’t take too long for the plains to start sloping upward and for tall trees to appear. 

“Look!” said Connie, pointing at the road ahead. “I can see the mountains in the distance.”

“It’s about time,” said Amethyst. “I thought we’d be in that flat land forever.”

However, the mountains seemed just as far away after another hour. “I don’t get it,” said Steven. “Shouldn’t we be at the mountains by now?”

“The Western Mountains are a lot taller than the Eastern Mountains. It makes sense that they would appear when we’re further away,” Garnet explained.

“How much taller?” asked Amethyst.

They soon had their answer. The mountains loomed overhead, growing impossibly bigger the closer they got. Connie had never imagined a mountain could be so tall. Even when craning her head so far back her neck hurt, she couldn’t see the snow-capped peaks. It didn’t help that a thick layer of clouds surrounded everything.

“Can we turn down the AC? It’s getting a little cold,” said Steven.

“Sure can,” said Mr. Universe, adjusting the dial. They had blasted the AC for most of the trip, but the high elevation made things a little chilly.

The mountains were very beautiful, but Connie couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed. The clouds were too thick to see the mountaintops, which was one of the things she was most excited for. Still, she didn’t say anything. She was incredibly lucky to be on this trip, and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful. And the parts of the mountains she could see were pretty good.

It took a few hours to drive through the mountains, even though they didn’t get far, since the roads were winding and rugged. Luckily, Mr. Universe was a good driver. Near the base of the mountains, they spotted a small diner just off the highway. Connie wasn’t all that hungry, but everyone else really wanted food, so she came along away.

After eating pancakes for dinner, the group exited out into the parking lot. With one last sliver of hope, Connie turned around…

And saw the most majestic sunset she had witnessed in her entire life.

Since the air on this side of the mountain was drier, the clouds from earlier weren’t blocking the view of the enormous, craggy peaks. The sunlight streamed from the western sky, casting the peaks ahead in a golden glow. The sky was streaked in all colors of the rainbow, from brilliant rose to deep indigo.

“It’s gorgeous,” said Connie after she found her voice again.

“Amazing!” said Steven.

“The earth is an amazing place,” said Garnet.

“No wonder Rose wanted to protect it so much,” said Pearl.

They stood in place until the sun dipped below the horizon and the mountains were shrouded in shadow. Connie knew she wouldn’t forget that sight for the rest of her life.

The next day was a big day. It was the day the group would finally reach the Tranquil Ocean. But first, they would have to drive across the desert. And from the heat that the group was already feeling at this early hour, it was sure to be a scorcher.

“I’m so hot!” whined Amethyst. “Can someone turn down the sun?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Pearl sighed.

“Can we at least get more AC?”

“Sorry, Amethyst,” said Mr. Universe from up front. “It’s on the whole way.”

Pearl and Amethyst continued bickering for a while, but soon even they grew silent. Dust and dirt enveloped the land as far as the eye could see. Occasionally, small clusters of cacti dotted the sides of the road, but those were few and far between. The air grew thick and heavy. Connie coiled her hair high above her head, but even exposing the back of her neck did little to stop the sweat from pooling there.

“Why did we think this was a good idea?” asked Pearl.

“Yeah, this sucks,” said Amethyst.

“So... hot…” Steven complained.

Connie was also hot and tired and drained. She started to join in, but the view outside the window caught her eye. Yes, they were in the desert, but didn’t the desert have its own kind of natural beauty? The shrubbery was small, true, but defiant in its own way. By sheer willpower, it was able to survive in a place with little rain and jagged rock. The rocks were pretty too, if you looked at them with the right angle. The way that certain formations cropped up, they seemed to resemble ancient statues.

“You guys, stop it! I know it’s burning hot out there, but look at how beautiful the desert is! And it won’t be much longer until we reach the Tranquil Ocean,” she said.

“But it’s all just rock,” said Steven. “And not interesting, like the rocks that made the Crystal Gems. These rocks are boring.”

“Not if you really check them out. See? That one looks like a grizzly bear.” Connie pointed at a rock formation as they drove by.

Steven leaned over. “Hey, you’re right! And that one looks like a slice of pizza!”

“This one looks like a sea monster,” said Garnet.

“That one looks like Pearl,” said Amethyst, pointing to a particularly skinny structure.

“Hey!” Pearl shouted.

“Sorry Pearl, but it did kinda look like you,” Steven said. He and Connie giggled.

They spent the rest of the time in the desert looking at funny rock shapes and observing tiny desert creatures that darted around the shrubbery. Connie found that she was actually having a great time. The car was just as hot as before, if not hotter. But Mr. Universe’s rock songs were on the radio, the Crystal Gems were enjoying themselves, and the scenery outside gave her a sense of adventure. Still, a previously unseen thrill washed over her as the plants started growing taller.

“We’re getting close to the coast,” Mr. Universe announced. “You guys ready to see the Tranquil Ocean?”

Everyone in the car cheered.

For the rest of the trip, everyone (except Mr. Universe) pressed their faces to the glass, enduring the bumpy vibrations as they watched the landscape transform rapidly. The barren land became overrun with mansions and stacks of overpasses. The number of cars on the road skyrocketed. Tanned people in trendy sunglasses leaned out of their vibrantly colored convertibles and blasted pop music with surround-sound speakers. Mr. Universe opened the windows, letting a small breeze blow in.

Soon, towering skyscrapers appeared on the horizon. “Is that Angel City?” Steven asked.

“Sure is,” Mr. Universe replied. “The beach is just up ahead.”

The drive through the city took long, longer than any city ride Connie had experienced before. Several times, they stopped completely. As it became later and later, Connie worried they wouldn’t see the ocean at all. Luckily, they were right in the heart of summer, and they were pretty far south. The sun stayed up much longer than she expected. As Mr. Universe turned off the interstate, she caught a glimpse of blue up ahead.

Before Mr. Universe had put the van in park, Connie and Steven tore open the doors and jumped out. They ran down the sandy hill, stopping short as the ocean came into view. 

“Look at it. It’s so blue.” Connie knew her words were painfully obvious and inarticulate, but there was no way to she could express how much the sight moved her. Yes, she had seen the East Ocean, but seeing the Tranquil Ocean put things into perspective. The waters on this planet were massive, yet they also served to bring people together. A gust of wind rolled off the surface of the water, sending a salty taste into her throat.

“Let’s go in!” said Steven, yanking off his shoes. Connie snatched off her sneakers and stumbled after him. Her feet pounded the golden sand until they found their way into the infinite expanse of sea.

“I’m so glad I have the chance to see this,” said Connie. “And I’m so glad I have the chance to do it with my best friend.”

“Me too,” said Steven, grinning.

The two friends stood there in the glittering sea, feeling nothing but love for their beautiful planet and the strength of their shared bond to protect it, no matter what.


End file.
